Fish hooks
by Azzie.K
Summary: This wasn't happening. Not again. I thought after surviving the first games I'd never have to see the ring again, deal with watching people due for entertainment. The games took everything from me. Now all I could do was survive; I wasn't supposed to fall in love.
1. Chapter 1

I watched the trees whizzing by out the large window from the outer bounds of the districts. They were so beautiful at twilight with the darkening silhouettes and the dark blues consuming the yellow, pink, and orange sunsets. My knees pulled to my chest as I sat on the large couch that rested against the window in the back of the train. I was alone in the back left with my own thoughts while Arken. the other Victor and our escort Rizzel and our mentor Tacitus were in the main dining room no doubt gorging on food. I saw no need to stuff my face, to give the capitol satisfaction in giving me such a luxury that was worth killing people over.

As the sky grew darker I could see myself in the reflection and I was a mess. My hair in a loose and untamed low pony hair poking every which way with twigs and leaves sticking out. My face smeared and splattered with caked on mud. I looked like I had just woken up from a month of hibernation. Then again… in a way I had.

After three years of lonely isolation and peace, ease of not having to worry about the games about death. It was all being thrown back at me, throwing me through a whirlwind. We were told if we won it be over. That we'd never have to go back, never have to worry about the games. Yet here I was on the train back to the capitol being forced back in there game of life, or maybe I should call it death.

You'd think knowing about the reaping, knowing I was the only female victor alive in district 11 that I'd be on camera for all of Panem to see. That I would have gotten dolled up, washed up, that I would have done my hair cleaned under my nails scrubbed off the mud. But no, I stayed in the garden all morning until it was time for the reaping then I followed the crowds to where my life was once more going to be taken away. I knew Rizzle would be angry with me, but I didn't care. Why should I? It wasn't like their lives were on the line.

I guess that's why I was sitting alone at the back of the train once more, secluded from everyone. Instead, of mingling with them, talking game and strategy. Well that and the fact my so called mentor Tacitus was a sexist, arrogant, misogynist prick. His first words when he saw me where "Women are weak, little girls are pathetic and powerless. Go back to the kitchen where you belong and bake me a cake," then strode off like he was Mr. Incredible. Even though it hurt I tried to ignore him; I'd just have to figure it out on my own. I would prove him wrong.

Slowly I slid down the back of the couch into a lying position. My eyes got heavy having my body relax. I turned to face the back of the couch so I wouldn't have to see anyone. Curling myself back up, I let my eyes close fully as I laid there allowing darkness to consume me. I took long and slow deep breathes as I laid there. I had to admit the sound and movement on the train were rather soothing. Before I knew it I was lulling off to sleep.

"All right, that is enough of that. You look like you've been living among pigs the last three years, now get up!" Rizzle shrill voice rang through my head

I let out a muffled groan of protest shoving my head into the couch more. I knew this was a battle I wasn't going to win, but I was still as Arken put it in a "Rebellious" mood. Which really just translated into, I wasn't the happy go lucky innocence the Capital knew me as. I was the polar opposite to Katniss, the district 12 winner who seemed to oppose the capital in some ways that were unknown to the watchers. All except myself and President Snow as far as I was concerned. Even I could tell that girl was a rebel in the making.

"Pascale Talladesco, get up right now young lady. We will be in the capitol any moment I don't want my victor looking like she crawled out of some pit," Rizzle voice was more demanding this time

I rolled over onto my other side, squinting my eyes open from the sun. Sure enough Rizzle had the only what I could describe as the "mom" look going on. Hands on her ridiculously colorful and ruffled dressed, her head tilted down. Her momentous classic capitol couture pastel green wig towering over her. I was amazed at how she stayed on her feet with that thing on, I knew under that horrible skirt she was wearing minimum five inch heels. The more I gawked at her and her stern look I knew it was better to get up and do as she asked even if she was exaggerating, about the being in the capital anytime soon at least.

Sitting up, I swung my legs over the edge of the seat before forcing myself up. As I stood up Rizzel straightened herself up a triumphant look on her face. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her giving her a small grin. She clapped her hands together with a peaceful sigh before waving me over and motioning toward the door as she walked out. I followed closely behind her as we walked down the train to the bathroom. Passing the lounge room, sure enough Arken and Tacitus were talking strategy and how to win the games once more. They were both foolish and smart; they games were full of surprises. Arken should've known that better than anyone and known that plan A never went the way he wanted.

Reaching the bathroom door, Rizzel pivoted cause me to jolt back slightly from surprise. She grinned at me as she opened the door. I had to admit the shower on the train were much more extravagant than back home. Then again, that was seemingly the recurring theme of the games. The capitol's way of reconciling for killing us. "Here's a basket of extravagant treat's while the districts are starving, no hard feelings right? Oh yeah try to die interestingly for our entertainment." They were pathetic in their attempts to woo us.

"I set you out a beautiful dress. Take your time make sure you get every inch clean," Rizzle informed, and she shooed me into the bathroom closing the door behind me. "I swear you won't even make it to the games if I find even a speckle of dirt on that dress."

Stepping into the room, I looked around at my surroundings. Sure enough, hanging next to the towel was a dress; a pastel green one to be exact. It looked like the child toned down version of Rizzle, apparently once more we were playing the "Let's dress you like me but less crazy" game. The first time I was in the games Rizzle had me wearing everything she was wearing just more innocent and less than I call it "Capital Couture" looking.

Turning to face the mirror I had to admit I did look pretty bad, even I wasn't a fan of the grungy natural look. I at the least needed to fix my hair. It looked like humming bird was ready to shoot out of it. Reaching back, I pulled the elastic from the hair. Turning to face the shower I undressed myself tossing my dirty laundry into a corner. Fully undressed, I stepped into the shower the door automatically closing behind me. I played around with the setting for a couple moments before turning the water on. It blasted down onto me like cool refreshing water fall.

Tilting my head up, I closed my eyes letting the water wash down over my face splashing down my back and shoulders. I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging out the knots and a sticks. It was harder than I thought but I got the kinks out. I gently rubbed my fingertips against my scalp, scrubbing off the dirt. Picking up the bottle of shampoo off the shelf, I squirted a large dollop onto the palm of my hand before putting the bottle back. I massaged the liquid over my scalp and hair. When my hair was fully lathered up and filled with foam I tilted my head back, rinsing the soap out leaving my hair clean and dirt free. Turning back to face the stream I started lightly rubbing my face scrubbing the dirt from it. I had to admit, the one good thing about the Capitol was their showers and bathtubs.

When I felt I had finally scrubbed the last bit of grime off me I stood in the water for a few more minutes before shutting the water off and opening the shower door. I stepped out onto the bath mat reaching for a towel I wrapped one around my body before tipping my head forward letting my dark hair hang in front of me before wrapping the second towel around the back of my head twirling my head up into the towel wrapping it on top of my head. I took my time drying myself before slipping into the dress Rizzel picked out. I had to admit the colour was nice and not the worst thing she's had me in.

Digging through the drawers I got out everything I needed to do my hair. I pulled myself up onto the small counter getting comfortable I set myself up and dried my hair. Once it was finally dry I pulled and played with the pieces, placing them in certain spots. After a while I finally gave up trying something fancy I took a chunk of hair on one side braiding it then doing the same on the other side before crossing them over on the top of my head in a half up do. I pulled a few stray pieces out giving it a messy elegance before smiling at myself in the mirror happy with my look. Sliding off the counter, I picked up the heels Rizzel had laying on the floor to wear and strode out of the bathroom. I swayed lightly walking towards the dining room. Reaching it, the other three were already there eating the lunch that was set out for all of us.

"Rizzel, I'm not wearing these" I told her handing them to her as I sat down

"Well, they are all we have, what are you going to do, go barefoot?" She giggled at her own comment

I put out my lower lip tilting my head back and forth smiling to myself then turning to look at her. I could see the instant regret forming in her eyes. She would regret giving me the option of not wearing shoes.

"That sounds like a wonderful Idea Rizzel," I grinned at her

"Oh dear…" She mumbled to herself Aken let out a small chuckle

I giggled lightly, turning back to the table placing a plate in front of me. I picked at the various food that had been laid out. As Arken talked about strategies Tacitus shot me a dirty glare. I rolled my eyes dramatically at him. Tacitus was getting on the last nerves I had at the moment. He was just a pain in the ass with his women being weak. Honestly, why was he still here if he hated me that much? I shot him a smile acting as if it didn't bother me. In reality it was something minuscule in the big scheme of things. He took mere seconds to stand up from the table, Arken following closely behind him. I watched as they started to exit the room, leaning back in my chair I smiled at them.

"Bye-bye boys" I said giving them a slightly flirtatious wave

They both rolled their eyes at me, Arken shaking his head while Tacitus had a look of disgust spread across his smug face. After the door closed behind them I giggled to myself turning back to the table and snacking on my lunch. Better to have appetite while dealing with the Capitol.

The past six hours went by a lot faster than I had expected the rest of the train ride whizzed, most of the time spent arguing with Rizzle about my bare feet while the boys were on their own talking game. When we finally reached the capital I still refused to put my heels on. Causing Rizzel to make snippy unhappy comments in my ear the entire way into the building and to our room. We got little time to settle in before our designers were coming in and dressing us. Which Rizzle was not impressed with considering the fact, the Marcellus, our designer, agreed that bare feet were total district 11 couture. He had even got the make-up artists to put real mud on our faces and arms to look more authentic. So now here I was waiting with carriages and some of the other victor's for Arken and Tacitus to come back.

I walked around the carriage admiring the work that had been done on it. I stopped at the side of the horse smiling mostly to myself as I lightly stroked his side. I had always loved horses there was a few back home in district 11 but I never got to get close to them. I was so entranced with the horse I didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind me.

"Pascale" an unfamiliar voice spoke my name in a way the sounded like they had known me for years.

Turning around, my hair flicked behind my shoulder as I turned to face the mysterious voice. I was in a slight state of shock to see Finnick O'dair, Standing there in what looked to be a skirt made of netting shirtless, it revealed his muscled body. The blonde locks, and beauty that could rival a god, Finnick was dressed in a very revealing outfit that surprised me. If that hadn't turned me already into a stunned fangirl, his toothy smile forming on his face causing his dimples to show sure did. Not only that but his twinkly eyes that seemed to suck me in and swirled like water pools.

"Sugar cube?" He asked kindly

Holding his hand out, he unclutched it, revealing a small pile of sugar cubes in hands. A genuine smile formed on my face as I pulled myself out of gawking trance. Really, with my gaping mouth I might as well tell him I'm pretending to be a fish. I moved my eyes from the sugar cubes up to look at him.

"Aren't they for the horses?" I questioned

"Well the wa-"

"Don't forget you need to be cold you're better than all the others," Tacitus voice interrupted us as he and Arken stepped between us.

"I know" Arken said simply

"You got this," Tacitus said firmly before turning away.

"Any words of wisdom for me?" I asked with a grin, fully knowing he'd be rude, but I knew acting like it didn't bug me would bug him.

Tacitus didn't say a word instead he shot me a dirty look over his shoulder sneering at me. He then proceeded to walk away. The grin on my face grew wider, and I shook my head turning to face Finnick once more. His mouth was slightly open with a look of shock on his face. He snapped out of it quickly. It wasn't very often when two people appeared out of nowhere, especially ones telling them to be unkind. It was most likely a rare feat in itself for Mr. O'dair.

"that was rather rude don't you think."

"I think he still has the childhood mentality that girls have cooties" I joked.

Finnick gave a small chuckle as the horn blew and we all got onto our chariots to be strutted around in front of the capital and all of panem. I took my spot next to Arken, looking much like a young child standing next to him with our height difference. I was nervous I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. I lifted my head up at Arken who was looking straight ahead, his body stiff and straight. I couldn't help but think he look constipated and even though I knew almost every other victor would look much like he did I decided to go a different route. I looked forward taking another deep breath before giving out the biggest smile I could manage. They all remembered the happy go luck innocent girl from district 11 and that's what they would get. Whether I liked it or not, it was a roll that could be the death of me.

The next morning was day one of 14 for training, something I wasn't a fan of but had no choice of being there. I decided instead of jumping into it showing off what small talents I had that I would sit back and watch. It was great tactics and it also allowed me to see what I could best others in. I'd observe for the first while get a feel for the other Victors I had seen all their games, but what you see on screen is different in real life. I knew I was smaller and weaker than most, I also knew that teaming up and forming allies was one of the only way I'd make it through the first hour. The fact that measly ol me made it through the first games had to have made the producers proud for such a twist.

I watched Arken as he was immediately drawn to the career pack. It was shocking to see that. In many ways he himself was a career, he trained most of his life to be a victor of the games to seek out his brother's revenge. He was brutal aggressive and showed no mercy. He now that he'd had the opportunity to go against Blight the victor from district 7, the one who killed his brother.

I knew much like the careers, Blight would have the biggest target on his back, so gaining an alliance with them was going to be a bad idea. Honestly, I'd be a fool to team up with Blight when my own mentor wanted to shove a knife in that man's back.

I let my blue eye's roam around the training room, many Victor's showing off their skill. It seems redundant to say the same thing over but there wasn't much else the Victors were doing. None really talked among one another. I had to admit, watching Johanna was Katniss, Peeta, and terrifying all at once. Her short black hair moved flawlessly as she whipped her axe around in her hand effortlessly. I knew I could never attempt something like that and with my luck I or god forbid someone else would lose a limb.

Next, I noticed Beetee and Wiress crouching in the small wood enclosure. Beetee had been trying to attempt a fire. I knew the two of them would make great allies; they were smart resourceful and no one saw them as a threat. Katniss apparently had the same idea as she crouched beside them assisting them with their fire and seemingly getting some knowledge from them in return. I could of just as easily gone and sucked up to Katniss but really, she had her beloved Peeta and I wasn't about to get in the way of that. She didn't seem much of a team player and I didn't want to be the next Rou.

She was smart, a hunter, she had true survival skills. Peeta knew how to camouflage like a morphing without the unpredictable mindset and self-medication. Peeta was also strong, stronger then he left off. To add to all of that they were also capital sweethearts, their romance whether you believe it or not had all of panem worshiping them. Which in way's made them just as big of a target as the others. Who wouldn't want to watch as either Katniss or Peeta died in the ring, making the other easy pickings.

Sitting there more so in my own world contemplating how I would go about all this, I didn't notice anyone had come up behind me as I was playing with the bracelet my brother had given me our first games. This whole thing brought back so many memories, the painful ones as well and happy ones. He was the only reason I was still alive. He had sacrificed himself in the arena to save my life, he was the only family I had and he was gone. The handmade woven bracelet he had made me before the reaping day; the only thing I had left of him.

I felt something yanking on my wrist pulling me out of my daze. I didn't have time to react as my hand raised and dropped. My eyes darting up quickly to see Cashmere holding my bracelet up as she examined it with a look of disgust. I felt my heart drop, a lump forming in my throat the smile that was once forcefully glued to my face dropped. There was no way I could stand up to her; I'd be a fool to even try.

"How can you wear this hideous thing" she scoffed

I stumbled to my feet trying not to let her see how upset it had made me. I would not show weakness in front of my future enemy. I swiped my hand trying to take my bracelet back from her she just held it up higher out of my reach, laughing at my poor attempts to get it back. I straightened my back looking up at her with a firm look.

"Please give me my bracelet back, Cashmere," I asked her calmly not letting her know I was upset.

"Take it from me, come on." She taunted

Really? Fighting among Victors before the games was a big no no. Cashmere pushed me harshly with her free hand, causing me to stumble backwards and trip on the matt. To others who had been watching, it caused them to pause their training, wondering where this would lead to. I fell onto my back lightly gasping for air. This was humiliating. My head slightly missed from hitting the matt and I could feel hand sliding behind my back, helping me sit up, I raised my hand lightly, rubbing the back of my head. Katniss and Peeta had walked over to the situation and neither looked impressed. They held more morals than the other victors.

"Give it back to her," Katniss demanded

"Girl on fire defending the weakling how pathetic, Katniss" She hissed. "You don't scare me, little girl. You're nothing without your precious bow and arrow."

"Save it for the games and give it back" Johanna snapped from her spot on the towered mats. "You're making more enemies than needed already, Cashmere. Is that really a wise decision?"

"Ha!" Cashmere laughed. "You think I'm afraid of you? As if. I'll laugh and spit in your face before I slit your throat in the arena."

Now I really felt weak but if I could have some allies it was better than nothing. Three people against one didn't seem to deter her. Cashmere simply rolled her eyes, completely ignoring what Johanna was saying. She acted so fearless. It made me wonder if it was all a façade. This situation was like school times all over again; everyone picking on me for being the smallest. The person who was behind me started helping me to my feet. I looked over my shoulder to see Finnick had been the one helping me up. I honestly thought it would have been Peeta since he was usually near Katniss. We rarely said anything to one another but it made me feel good knowing that someone had helped me. I gave him a half smile, turning back to face Cashmere. She had a vicious smirk on her face her eyes filled with mischief. As her long slender fingers started picking my bracelet apart the thread, pulling them to unravel the bracelet. My. Heart. Dropped. Shattering into a million pieces at seeing my one true treasure so easily broken.

It felt like she was ripping my heart out I could feel my body shaking, I knew I couldn't take her. I was weak and powerless towards her and she knew it, even if we weren't supposed to harm another victor until the arena. If only I had gotten stronger in my time after surviving the first games. I felt Finnick's hand on my shoulder as he walked around me, gaining back Cashmere's attention. Stepping in front of me he yanked the bracelet from her grip rather forcefully as he leaned in, whispering something in her ear before turning back to face me. His face went from serious with a darkness in his eyes to his typical charming, heart melting grin and twinkle ocean eyes. He lifted his hand up, letting the bracelet dangle from his fingers.

"I believe this is yours, darling" He said softly

I reached up gently taking it from him, his hands gently wrapping around mine holding them for a moment before letting them go. As I gave him a soft smile, I could just see Cashmere over his shoulder. Her eyes were no longer raging and fierce only she had a look of fear of terror. She seemed to have paled a couple of shades making me wonder whatever he had said to her had scared her.

"Thank you," I mumbled softly slightly embarrassed of the event. Thankfully others resumed their training.

Finnick just gave a nod, shooting me another grin before going back to training, as did Katniss and Peeta. I watched as they left me a small true smiling forming on my lips as I gently gripped my bracelet. It seemed even in death my brother was watching out for me. Showing me that even though I had felt alone in all of this, there were people who cared. I seemingly really did have friends or at the very least allies in Katniss, Peeta and Finnick. Something that gave me a sense of calmness matched with safeness. Maybe, just maybe I might survive this game.


	2. Chapter 2

I watched as teal colored waves crashed against the golden grains of sand, turning white as they bashed against it. I could almost feel the breeze grazing softly against my skin, If only it was real. I had always loved the water and the forest but the first time I saw the beach I had fallen in love with it. Yet I had never gotten the chance to see one close up. To swim in the salt water, feel the grains of sand sticking to my toes. It was something I had regretted not doing and now I was going to get the chance.

The chime of the dinner bell pulled me away from my own world, mandatory for the tributes to attend on the first night after training. Sighing, I sat myself up on the bed taking the remote off the nightstand I turned the screen off. Revealing the city lights of the capital contrasting against the dark that surrounded it. Standing up, I walked towards my bedroom door running my fingers over my scalps, brushing my back trying to make my slightly messy bun look neater.

I walked through the sitting area by the looks of it Arken had already made his way down to the dining hall. Reaching the main door I looked down at the rack of shoes; they had doubled since yesterday. No doubt Rizzel's attempt to make me wear shoes other than in the Training room. She was the closest thing I had to entertainment and I was going to milk it the best I could. It was better than nothing since these could be my final days. Opening the door, I continued my way out of the apartment and got into the elevator .

I made my way to the back corner of the elevator, my stomach slightly turning. I wasn't sure if it was the confined space of the fact I was suspended 11 floors in the air. One of the two things that made me feel sick to my stomach. I wasn't a fan of certain motions and elevators held on of my Achilles heels. Pushing the main flood button I leaned against the wall watching as the arrow started to move downwards. The elevator came to a stop on the 7th floor, my eyes darted to the door immediately. Johanna strode into the elevator giving a partial smile to me. I was relieved that it was her and not someone who would be out to kill me once the games began.

"Pascale" her voice was friendly yet somehow cold.

""Johanna" I greeted her with a smile

Johanna simply nodded and turned her back to me facing the doors, even without her Axe she was intimidating. When the door's opened on the bottom floor Johanna exited quickly and I followed suit. Stepping out of the elevator, I got two steps before falling onto my face landing with a thump. It was so unexpected I didn't really get a chance to break my fall. I could taste the metallic liquid seeping from my lip as I pushed myself up onto my knees. I knew I was weak but I wasn't his clumsy.

"Oops, you should really watch where you're going" Cashmere voice was fake as she bent down to help me

I tried to pull myself away from her deny her help but it only cause her to grip my arm tighter. She jerked me up roughly pulling me to my feet; I could feel my heart pounding in my chest my eyes darting around. The area was completely abandoned except for Cashmere and I. Johanna had already went through the large door that lead to the dining hall where everyone else including the peace keepers were located. I was dead. I was too scared to see if there were any cameras littering the walls but hey, as far as I knew this was more entertainment for the game makers.

I could only bet Cashmere had been waiting the entire time for me to come down to re-enact her revenge. Her grip tightened even more as she leaned even closer to me her face right up next to my ear. I could feel her warm breath on my skin because shivers of fear to race down my spine. It caused goosebumps to form on my skin. I didn't know what she was going to do next, but with no supervision and no one to stop her, the possibilities were endless.

"Finnick won't always be around to save your pathetic ass; in the arena you're mine," she hissed.

Soon as she opened her mouth I felt my heart stop my breath caught in my throat. She shoved me roughly into the hard stone, I flinched slightly shutting my eyes tightly. I wouldn't let her know the pain nor did I want to see what she was going to do next. The only thing she would have the satisfaction of hearing was the noise my body made when it slammed into an object.

After a couple seconds I could hear her heels clicking into the distance and the doors open. I let out the air that I had held in my heart finally starting to beat normally. She left. I took a deep breath straightening my clothes out and adjusting my shawl before walking towards the door. I stood outside the door taking a few calming breaths preparing myself for what as on the other side. At this point cameras where the least of my concerns. I let out a final breath putting the happiest grin I could on my face as I pushed the doors open.

Thankfully none of the victors cared all that much to pay attention, most looked up for a couple seconds before returning to their own business. To them since I hadn't showed off any skills I held little to no importance. I wasn't looking forward to being stuck at a table with Rizzle, Tacitus, and Arken but my only other choice was another victor's table and that didn't seem wise either. I nervously made my way towards my table the cold tile floor somewhat soothing on my bare feet.

I kept my smile on my face as I made my way past the other tables they were aligned from 1-12. I could feel Cashmere's eyes on me glaring as I walked past her, I kept my eyes straight ignoring her; I refused to let her get to me. On the other hand I could see Tacitus giving me much the same look as Cashmere, the two of them made the perfect pair. They both thought I was worthless weak and pathetic. I didn't think much different but I wouldn't let them know.

Walking past the second table, I felt and arm slink around mine. My heart stopped slightly, terrified it was going to Cashmere. I felt another hand rest against my arm, I turned my head slightly a relaxing when I saw Mags walking beside me. The older lady gently holding onto my arm. She looked at me smiling sweetly causing a true smile to form in place of the fake on I had on. Mags slightly tilted her head forward towards district 4 table.

She didn't let me reply before I knew it she was gently pulling me towards the empty table. I was thankful Finnick wasn't there. I wasn't sure where he was but I knew being around him brought up things that I wasn't sure how to feel about. If it had been anyone else pulling me to their table I probably would have had some sort of protest. I knew Mags was a gentle soul; you could see it in her eyes. The elderly lady meant no harm to anyone. She was sweet and kind and out of everyone she had to be the most innocent. I felt bad for her being forced back into the games at her age even if she had volunteered in place of Annie.

Reaching the table, I helped Mags into her seat before I sat down beside her. Mags continued to smile at me, patting my shoulder gently for what I could only assume to be a thank you. I gently nodded my head, acknowledging it. Mags motioned to the food before reaching for plates. She put a plate down in front of both of us and I gave a thanking nod, slowly reaching for some food.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed her dipping a napkin into a glass of water. I turned my head wondering what she was doing with it. Taking the damp napkin in her hand, Mags brought it to my face. I froze slightly. The damp cloth brushed against the corner of my mouth, I understood then why she was doing it. I must have had some blood on the corner of my mouth from when Cashmere had tripped me and I hit my face on the floor. Reaching up, I gently placed my hand on hers. She looked at me with curious look, I hadn't had anyone treat me with such tenderness like a mother would. Except for my own who had died when I was eight years old.

"Thank you" I said softly

Mags gave a little nod stroking her thumb against my face softly, causing yet another true smile to form. She retracted her hand going back to plate in front of her, picking up her food as did I. It only took a few moments for me to notice a shadow on the other side of the table. I looked up just in time for my eyes to meet Finnick's as he sat down. I felt my heart seem to skip a beat as I instantly became nervous. Finnick flashed me a crooked grin his head slightly tilted with a joyful and amused look on his face. It wasn't hard to see why everyone was so taken with him; he had it all. Looks, strength, brains, talent, he was charming; he was the full deal he as was lethal. Youngest person to ever win the hunger games.

"Well, hello there, Little Cale," Finnick greeted,

My heart dropped instantly the only one who called me that was my brother. It only took me a few seconds to regain my composure. Finnick was neither here nor there when my brother had called me those names let alone knew that he called me that. I knew it would be best to compose myself before someone noticed.

"Hey Finnick" I greeted happily

 _Please make sure he didn't notice. That seemed a little too chipper,_ I thought to myself.

"And what gives us the honor of your presence at our table?" He quizzed. I could hear the flirtatious tone in his voice and I bit the inside of my lip trying not to giggle.

"Well, Mags actually invited me over," I told him simply before leaning in slightly. Finnick copied my actions

"To be honest, I'd rather sit here with you guy's than at mine, It's kind of hard to be around Tacitus. I mean his name does sound like something they'd serve to eat here."

I joked trying to play innocent as I scratched my neck. It's not like the man didn't deserve it. He had been nothing but rude and borderline cruel to me since day one. Finnick gave a light chuckle, sitting back in his chair amused about my comment. I gave out a small giggle, my cheek lightly flushing causing me to look down. I could feel Mag's watching us; a different kind of grin on her face then before.

For the first time in a long time, I found myself having a real conversation with someone. I spent the entire dinner talking with Finnick and Mags. Finnick would translate for me and he'd help teach me simple words and symbols so I could communicate and understand Mag's. I was determined to learn how to talk and understand her and for two hours the three of us didn't speak a word about the capitol or the games. There is no mention about the other victors or strategy, I had completely forgotten about the cameras. It felt like three normal people talking and it was incredible, I loved hearing Finnick talk about his district and about the water. He questioned about my bare feet and thought it was in his words "Adorable" that I refused the wearing of shoes. For the first time in a long time I smiled, I laughed, I enjoyed myself and it was real.

Even after dinner I managed to find myself on the district four floor with Finnick, Mags and even Johanna who we ran into in the elevator on our way back to our rooms. It turns out that underneath her hard outer shell and the look at me wrong and I'll crack your skull open with my axe attitude, she was a really nice girl. Yet, she still had a fire about her that could rival the sun. For those two hours before curfew it seemed like the games didn't exist; none of it did. I think it's because we all knew what was waiting for us in the next few days.

I looked at my reflection in the mirrored metal of the elevator wall. I had to admit for the first time in a long while I looked like myself. Even if it was for a moment in my short lived life I was happy. My eyes had that twinkle to them and my hair looked amazing thanks to Mags and her weaving skills. I knew tomorrow it would all be different. I'd walk into training and everything would go back to how it was. I'd just be pathetic, Pascale the girl who won because of her brother.

I had to prove them wrong; I had to fight. I needed to win for him. Walking across the small hallway I opened the door walking into our room. Arken was sitting in main room watching capitol TV, of course it was all about the games. Closing the door behind me I made my way towards my room.

"You know he's just using you, right?" Arken voice sounded concerned.

It caused me to stop in my track and turn to look at him, he muted the TV turning to face me. I gave him an unsure look what was he going on about. Why did he even care if someone was using me? How would it benefit them when I had no skills?

"What?" I asked confused

"Odair, he's just using you" He spoke slowly as if to make sure I heard.

"What are you going on about, and why would you even care?" I questioned

"I knew your brother Pascale, Penn and I we were good friends. I know he wouldn't want you to get used like this" The way Arken spoke to me reminded much like how my brother used to; with care and concern.

"What are you talking about?" I asked softly

Looking down at my feet, starting to grow weary of what he was going to say. I could hear him get off the couch and I looked up as he walked around it. Arken came to stand in front of me, his fingers gently touching my chin tilting it up to look at him. His almost black eyes bore down into my blue ones.

"You're so innocent, you can't see it… The rest of us can… Finnick is just using you, darling. You're just a pawn to him. What better way to make the capitol love you more, than simply befriending and taking care of and using the capitals most naive victor" Arken's voice was soft but had venom to them as he spoke

I could feel my lip quiver as my heart sank in my chest. It couldn't be true. Finnick wasn't like that. hH would never do that because he was a good man. No matter how hard I tried to fight them Arken's words sunk their way into my brain. The more I thought the more I believed it. I could feel the pressure building up in my eyes as they started to sting. I took a deep breath pulling my head away looking away as I blinked away the tears. It wasn't true, it couldn't be; Arken was just trying to manipulate me I had to fight it. I looked back at him he still had that genuine look of concern. It wa manipulation from Arken I kept telling myself.

"He's not using me Arken. Finnick is my friend." I told him friendly.

"A guy you've never met is instantly nice to you, protects you, knows how small and fragile you are so he charms and flirt his way into your heart to swoon you, to swoon the public to gain sponsor so he can win once more and go home to Annie. Don't ever forget he loves Annie. Mags volunteered so that Finnick wouldn't have to fight his love."

With those words with whatever ounce of strength and happiness I had left was ripped away from me. He was right; I couldn't deny it anymore. Finnick was just using me for his own benefit. Even though I was breaking my hope ripped away from me and I pulled away from Arken. I couldn't let him see me cry I wouldn't let him see even if he knew I was going to. I put my chin up straightened my back and strode towards my bedroom door.

"I know it hurts but I'm just looking out for you kid" He said simply.

"I know," I whispered with my back turned to him.

I didn't look at him but I nodded before closing my door and running right for my bed. I buried my head into my pillow clutching it to my face as I started to sob. This place had a nasty habit of ruining even the slightest shred of happiness I had. I laid there forever in my own pit of despair crying like a toddler in the dark until sleep finally overcame me. It had hurt, it killed and most of all it gave me the courage to know I could do this on my own even if I died trying.

When I had awoken in the morning it was still dark out. I could feel the crusties in the corner of my eyes from crying myself to sleep. Forcing myself out of bed, I walked into the bathroom, turning the light on and going straight to the sink. Turning the tap the water started to pour out. Leaning forward, I cupped my hands under the stream and splashed my face with the cold water. Straightening myself up, I looked in the mirror. Other than the fact my hair was still tightly braided I looked like a complete mess. My skin pale, my eyes red and still slightly puffy. It wouldn't be hard to tell I had a bad night. I could even see a bruise on my arm from where Cashmere had gripped me.

I couldn't let the others see me like this; I wouldn't let them see me like this. I spent a long time last night thinking about everything, from what Arken said. If it was true, if he really was just trying to protect me, or if he was just trying to get under my skin. I thought about the game how I needed to figure out what I was going to do how I was going to get through it. I even thought what my brother would think if he saw me like this…would he be mad…upset, proud? I decided I wasn't going to let them tell me who I was anymore. I didn't want to be the weak little girl, I was going to fight, train I was going to survive. Fuck the hunger games and fuck death. This was my life and I was going to win it.

I took a deep breath before returning back to the main room and getting changed into my training gear. I knew the other victors would still be asleep, but we were allowed to train and be in the dining hall from 5:30am to 8 pm. After changing into my gear, I silently snuck my way out of our room making sure not to wake Arken who had fallen asleep on the couch. Getting into the elevator, I pressed the main floor, when the door finally opened once more I walked straight to the dining hall.

It wasn't shocking that there was nothing extravagant laid out, the Avox's were still scurrying around getting things set up. They seemed to rush more when they saw me enter the room. I didn't stay long I took and apple from one of the bowls of fruit then left. I took large bites out of my apple as I made my way out of the dining room. By the time I had reached the training room I had finished it.

Standing in the doorway I looked around the room. It was somewhat overwhelming I wasn't sure where to start. With my hands on my hips I looked around. There was some many ways to train: tactical, camouflage, survival and strength. There was so many different weapons: swords, knives, daggers, axe, spears, bow and arrow and others.

Somehow I decided knives would be a great place to start. Close combat came in handy when you were corned by an enemy and I needed to learn. I strode my way over to the throwing knives station. Picking up one of the small knives, I faced the targets taking a deep breath I took my aim. I watched Cashmere and Gloss spend all day yesterday throwing the knives. I took a deep breath, steadying myself as I aimed the knife. Flicking my wrist I watched the knife start to fly and stick straight into the floor a foot away from the target. I flinched at my own horrible attempt. After a following 12 more attempts and somehow managing to cut the top of my hand I gave up on the knives. Clearly they weren't a weapon of my choice.

I decided for now I'd lay off the sharp object and focus on survival skills by making fires, climbing and camouflage. It was almost 3 hours before anyone showed up. It was the first just the peace keepers that were helping with training. I took advantage of it, learning, practicing and training with them; I may have been on my back, ass or stomach every two minutes but I didn't care. I was on a mission. I ignored the pain; I refused to stop. An hour later Victors started to show up it wasn't shocking that the careers were first to show up. Although the four of them looked at me like I was some sort of alien.

I didn't care though, I was focused and on a mission to prove to them and myself I wasn't weak. I ignored them completely from there gawking to Cashmere's snide comments. As the other victors slowly started to join they all had the same shocked expression when they first saw me.

"What's gotten into her?" I heard Peeta's voice ask quietly

"She was here before any of us," Enobaria's voice sounded shock

"Why?" I heard Peeta ask

He didn't get an answer Enobaria just walked away with him unimpressed with other districts doings. After finally getting the guard down onto the matt I tapped out. Sweat starting to run down my forehead my heart was pounding and my breath heavy. I wiped the sweat from my forehead turning to face Peeta, he wasn't the only one watching me but he was the only one who was close to the matt.

"Simple: I'm tired of everyone saying I'm weak." I told him flatly

I walked passed Peeta not letting him get the chance to say another word. I walked over to the water fountain leaning over, lapping up water from the stream. Standing straight up I leaned against the wall, the other victors seemed to be disengaged now that I wasn't fighting on the matt. Even Peeta went back to practicing throwing knives. I stood there for a few moments watching them but avoiding Finnick the best I could. When I had finally gained my composure I walked over to the spear throwing section. It was the only one where no one was at the moment.

I picked up one of the spears feeling it, examining it, getting used to the weight. I positioned my feet on the matt. My body straight, positioning the spear I adjusted my hands on it before taking a breath and launching it forward. It was a horrible sight. The spear not only didn't make it to target, it landed a couple feet in front of me going the wrong way. I could hear the Career snickering comments saying how pathetic I was. I ignored them all reaching forward and picking the spear back up trying again. After three more attempts and their snickering I was started to get frustrated. How hard was it to use a bloody spear?

I had the spear in my hand once more, my grip tightened on it my knuckles turning white. My breathing shallow and heavy as I glared at the target. I felt a hand slide against the back of waist and I instantly tensed up as warm breath brushed down the back of my neck. A large hand wrapped around mine I turned my head slightly to see Finnick standing behind me. A small grin greeting me on his face, a whirlwind of emotions flooded me.

"Here Darling let me help you" Finnick said sweetly lifting my arm up with the spear.

"I don't need your help, Odair," I replied coldly.

I wanted to be angry to hate him to shove him away and tell him he's not going to use me as his show thing. Then again I wanted to smile, thank him let him help me with throwing the spear. I didn't know how to feel. I was angry and upset but didn't know it was at him or myself.


	3. Chapter 3

I could feel Finnick bringing himself closer to me, his large hand on the small of my back while his thumb gently brushed circles against it. The way he held himself, his action's they all pointed to one thing; he knew I was upset about something. What I don't think he realized that he was part of the problem not the solution.

"Relax Cale, everyone needs help once in a while when starting something new, don't be embarrassed just ignore the others" Finnick tried to reassure me

For some reason the way he spoke to me, soft and calmly his breath like a warm summer breeze affected me. At first it was soothing and I wanted to welcome it. His voice was like velvet and I just wanted to listen to him speak. However, the more he spoke the more I could feel the anger boiling up in me. It felt like he was talking down to me. It started to make what Arken had told me into a real fact that I was noticing for myself. He really was using me and thought I was that pathetic weak girl all the other victors noticed.

"I said I don't need your help" I growled through gritted teeth

Just as I started to drop the spear Finnick leaned forward. I could feel his muscular toned chest pressing against my back causing my mind to start to argue with myself once more. It began to anger me more than I had already been. I turned to look at Finnick as our eyes met I could see the concern in his but they were met with cold dark ones peering back into his.

"Cale, what's going on darling?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"That's none of _your_ concern," I replied coldly.

As he called me that name that brought so many feelings rushing back to me. I felt my body start to become overwhelmed. Instead of letting my emotions out, letting them flow I channeled them all into one: anger; and before I could stop myself I found myself doing something I never thought I would. All the training that I had been practicing all morning suddenly came rushing back like a primal instinct. I shot my elbow back connecting it with Finnick's stomach causing him to hunch over. Without a second's hesitation I snaked my leg around his keeping myself firm in my position before flipping him onto his back on the matt. I was surprising him and I couldn't help but grin inwardly, glaring outwardly at Finnick with malicious intent. I was not the weak girl he thought I was; I was strong.

Finnick hit the matt with a loud thud, a gasp of air escaping his lips as I glared down at him coldly. I could hear the gasps and murmured voices of the other victors around us. No one was expecting me to attack wonderboy when we were getting along before. The peace keepers were on full alert, ready to stop what they thought was going to happen. They thought I would kill Finnick Odair. I looked down at Finnick with a cold glare, my body rigid as he looked up confused and in slight pain.

"Don't touch to me, or talk to me," I growled out my voice sounding like a stranger to myself. "Because the next time you do I'll end your life before you can even blink in the ring."

I turned quickly on heels stepping off the matt and striding away. It was an instant sting of regret that took over my body but I had to blink away the tears and show myself as strong and confident. It wasn't like me to do things like that; I didn't hurt people. I was supposed to be nice, kind and I wasn't supposed to be like Cashmere. I could feel everyone's eyes on me and I was once again the talk of the room. I needed to get out of there for my sake and everyone else. Fake or not Finnick was the closest thing to a friend I have had in a long time and I hurt him; I was the worst

Rushing out of the training room, I stepped quickly towards the elevator. I refused to look back even for a second because I was afraid I'd crack if I did. Reaching the elevator, I felt myself starting to weaken and the guilt pushed at me. Everything else went away all I could concentrate on was how I potentially ruined everything, how ashamed my brother would be with me. This wasn't the sister he had raised. He had made me into something compassionate and soft; someone who wasn't meant for the games. I could never hate him for that. Resting my arms on the cold metal next to the door, I leaned forward shutting my eyes as I hunched against it. It was soothing and left me feeling numb.

I bit the inside of my lip and I was determined not to break, I had to stay strong for my sake. The longer I leaned there the more I felt myself start to shake. I had focused on myself so intently that I didn't hear the clicking of shoes as they came up behind me. Without warning a hand firmly gripped my wrist yanking on it and turning me around harshly. My eyes snapping open quickly as I found myself being pinned to the wall, Johanna's face inches from mine. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, fear creeping over me. I could tell she was furious. Her stance screamed submission to the one her ire was forced upon.

"What the hell was that about!" she sneered. "Finnick's been nothing but kind and just now you repay him with a firm 'fuck you,' what the hell is your problem?"

I looked away avoiding eye contact with her, ashamed at myself. I wasn't going to fight back. If Johanna wanted to hit me, I'd let her since I deserved it. With one mistake I had ruined everything: my alliances, friendship and probably even my sponsors. Johanna shoved me into the wall again in attempts to get an answer from me but all she got was silence.

"Answer me" She hissed

"I was mad okay!" I snapped back, not liking her violence.

"So you fucking hurt Finnick?!" she roared. I felt myself pulling away starting to cower away from her "What the fuck is wrong with you"

My body was tense as I tried to make my already small stature even small as if thinking it would make me disappear. I kept my head down, eyes closed not daring to face her or see the fire in her eyes. I could feel my lip quivering. If I already hadn't felt bad enough about what had happened now I felt even worse. My stomach churned and I felt like I would vomit.

"Well!?" Johanna's voice made it clear she was growing impatient

I didn't want to tell her, to face it to hear the words out loud again. Speaking them would just make it seem more real. I knew if I didn't answer her it would just anger her more and be worse for me. So I took a deep breath, I had to tell her.

"H- h-he's just us-using m-m-me," I stuttered out, my voice quiet as I whimpered

"What?!" She snapped in disbelief. "That's the biggest lie since Katniss and Peeta! Even I know that romance is just for show!"

I wasn't sure if she hadn't heard me properly or just couldn't believe the words that had come out of my mouth. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes ignoring the stinging, trying to blink away the tears that threatened to fall. I slowly tilted my head to look at Johanna, the look on her face had changed. Her eyes weren't filled with so much rage anymore; there was something else in them to.

"Finnick, he's just…he's using me…to get sponsors…he's using my weakness to his advantage" I mumbled, fighting the tears even more.

"Who in there right fucking mind told you that line of crap!?" She growled, the fire in her eyes igniting once more. "Clearly they're using your softness to throw you off and limit your amount of allies.

"Arken…" I whimpered a tear finally escaping down my cheek

"Arken! That son of a bitch, I'm gonna shove my axe straight through the center of his skull." Johanna hissed turning to the side speaking more to herself then I.

Johanna then turned back to face me and as she looked into my scared hurting blue eyes, her fire and rage melted from hers. I tilted my head back down avoiding her gaze, the grip on my arm's loosened as she released them. I immediately pulled them to myself my hand instinctively touching where she had held me. Johanna let out a soft sigh reaching her hand towards my face causing me to flinch. She moved slowly with caution, tenderly tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear before making me look at her directly making sure I was looking her in the eyes.

"Pascale, I want you to listen to me very carefully" the harshness in her voice was gone, replaced with a soft tone to it.

"Finnick would never do that, not to anyone; especially not to you. He doesn't do the things he does for anyone else; not for sponsor none of that. He does it because he wants to, because he cares. All Finnick wanted to do was help you so you could protect yourself in the games in case he can't. Never let anyone tell you anything different, don't let them get in your head. You do that and they win, Pascale. You can't let them win, alright? Because if they win here they win out there in the arena as well. You'll wind up dead and alone" As she spoke I knew Johanna was telling the truth; she had no reason to lie to me

"O...okay..:" I mumbled lightly nodding my head

"Good, now chin up wipe those eyes. Show them how strong we both know you are and come watch me beat the crap out of Arken for being a lying, manipulative asshole" She said flashing me a wicked grin

I couldn't stop the little giggle that seemed to escape my lips from her comment as I nodded. She gave a nod back, linking our arms and started to walk, dragging me with her I quickly wiped my eyes keeping my head up straight. Johanna pushed opens the door as we walked in a smirk firmly on her face, almost everyone was watching us. Everyone but Finnick. My eyes scanned the room for him; I wanted to apologize, to explain, but he was nowhere in sight.

I let out a silent sigh. I would just have to find him later and explain everything; I just hopped he was okay. As we walked further into the room Johanna released my arm lightly nudging it. I looked up at her, she nodded to the sparing matts where Arken was practicing with a peace keeper. She smirked at me as she strode towards the matt. I followed a few steps behind her; I really did want to see her kick his ass.

"Arken, why don't you give the guy a break and fight a real opponent, or are you too scared to fight a girl?" Johanna taunted.

"Wouldn't want you to break a nail, babe" Arken smirked, dodging the peace keepers attack.

He didn't realize it but I was 90% sure he just dug his own grave. Johanna played it off as if it didn't bug her I but I knew it did as she stepped onto the matt. The peacekeeper stepping off letting the two spar.

"I think I can handle it" Johanna said simply

"you're on, Doll" Arken winked at her

And just like that the sparing started drawing a small crowd, mostly of the careers and the other guy from Johanna's district. The careers of course were cheering Arken on, a veteran one who held a mast amount of power. Cashmere of course yelling to kick her ass; one less opponenet to worry about if two beat the shit out of the other. Considering how she dressed, her attitude was very unlady like. I didn't notice that Peeta had come up beside me until he spoke.

"You alright?" He asked calmly. It caused me to jump slightly

"I guess…" I mumbled to him.

Something about Peeta made me feel like I could trust him; he was a good guy. Like all of us though he was forced to do horrible things we didn't want to do. I felt him move closer to me out of the corner of my eyes. I watched him carefully. I could see on his face that he wanted to be a good person, to try and comfort me but he also didn't want to get to close. That was probably my fault. Peeta probably didn't want to end up like Finnick.

"He'll be fine you know, he just went back to his room." Peeta informed me as if reading my mind

"I just I feel bad…he didn't deserve that…" I replied softly

"I'm sure at dinner or after it you two can talk it out all it'll all blow over" Peeta voice picked up lightly nudging me clearly trying to cheer me up

"Thank you Peeta, you're a good guy" I told him looking fully at him giving a somewhat real smile

"If you need to talk, I'm around" Peeta informed me

I nodded lightly at Peeta as he walked away to practice knots with Katniss. I turned my attention back to the sparing matt. I wasn't all that shocked that Johanna seemed to be faring well. Arken had brought this upon himself for what he had done to me and his comments about Johanna. When she had finally got him to the ground, his arms pinned behind him face pushed into the matt she leaned over and whispered something to him. Whatever it was he nodded clearly understanding she meant business. When she finally let him go he scrambled onto his feet and off the matt. Johanna turned around smirking giving me a small wink then looked at the other who were still gawking at the matt.

"Alright, who's next" She challenged "What about you Cashmere, you talk a lot game?" She taunted. "Wouldn't mind busting up that pretty face of yours or are you too chicken?"

She was right about that Cashmere, did talk a lot, but when Johanna confronted her she had nothing to say. Cashmere immediately avoided eye contact pretending she didn't hear her and scurried back to knife throwing. I couldn't help but smirk. Today one thing was made clear to me: despite everything that was going on and was going to happen, I somehow found a real friend in Johanna even if it was short lived.

"I'll go," I volunteered, even raising my hand as I neared the matt

"Alright Pascale, you're on. If you're lucky I might go easy and give you some pointers; but just this once" Johanna teased as I stepped onto the matt

Johanna flashed me a wicked smile and I gave a playful wink back as we both got into position. After the count down from the peace keeper Johanna and I started our match. It was rather one sided at first, even with all my morning practice and surprise attack on Finnick; I was still nowhere near her skill level. After taking me down a handful of times, Johanna started teaching me and giving me pointers. The two of us spent a couple hours on the sparring matt. I had only beaten her twice to her fifteen but I was determined. I needed to be able to protect and take care of myself, so the people I was foolishly growing attached didn't have to; I couldn't risk them dying on my account.

As I walked towards the dining hall my body was aching and sore from the day of training. Every step had my body screaming to lay down. I had spent most of the day training with Johanna, as well as Peeta and Katniss. I had grown even closer to the three than I had already. They were my allies, my friends. None of us had seen or hear from Finnick or even Mag's since the incident. I felt horrible my mind on a nonstop loop of what could be happening, that I had hurt him that he hated me.

Peeta had told me I shouldn't worry, that it would all be fine and I'd see him at dinner. I could only hope he'd be right. After training I had went upstairs to shower. I somehow managed to have perfect timing when it came to avoiding Arken. By the time I had finished my shower and changed and was ready to go downstairs, Arken was exiting the elevator and heading into the room.

I stopped outside the dining room door. I was nervous and terrified. I closed my eyes for a couple seconds taking deep breaths, putting on a partial smile. Mustering up as much bravery as I could, pushing open the door I walked in. Most people looked up briefly then back down minding their own business. My eyes were immediately drawn to Finnick and Mag's table. It was only a second that my eyes met Finnick's before he looked back down. The look in his eyes was one I'd never forget; they were hurt, disappointed. They didn't have their regular luster, they didn't dance like the waves crashing against the ocean shore. They were more like flat waters with no spark.

It broke me and all the bravery I had managed to gain was washed away with a single look. I had frozen right then and there like a deer in headlights. My body refused to move causing me to look like an awkward statue in the middle of the rows of tables. Everything I had tried to avoid, all the emotions I thought I could sneak around, the ones I prayed I'd avoid by fixing things with Finnick at dinner all came rushing back at ones like a tsunami taking control of my body. I couldn't fight I couldn't move as the pain filled me. I could feel the gaze of others in the room watching me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see both Katniss and Johanna trying to encourage me to go over to Finnick's table. Peeta was different though the look on his face knew I was shattering.

My instincts told me to turn around and run, run back to the room and lock myself there and not come out until the games. My heart begged me to march over to Finnick and tell him everything. My hands clenched into fists at my sides. I could hear the murmurs coming from table 1 & 2\. Nosy careers. It took everything I had to start raising my foot, to fight my instincts but then he looked up and I was done for. I couldn't take it and I broke. Turning quickly on my heels, I bolted out the door shoving Arken out my way as he walked into the dining hall. I bolted into the elevator as the doors were closing and I leaned against the wall pushing the button forcefully and rapidly as if it would make it move faster.

The door's shut with a small ding and as the elevator started to raise, the tears started to fall. I turned my head leaning it against the wall of the elevator. I bit the inside of my lip lightly hitting my head on the wall each time a little harder than the last. The whirlwind of guilt and self-hate numbed me from the pain while I muttered to myself about how stupid I was. It was no shock that Finnick looked at me the way he did, I hated myself too for what I did. The elevator dinged before the door opened, I turned to face the door stepping out only to bump into Rizzel.

"Sweet heart, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Rizzle asked concerned

Rizzel's hand stretched out to brush the hair out of my face I pulled back attempting to slap her hand away. Tears still streaming down my cheeks, I looked up at her. I tried to pull off that I was fine but it was a failure. The saline water tears wouldn't stop falling from my face no matter how much I wished they didn't. Rizzel's eyes grew large as she saw my face; I guess I looked worse the I felt. She reached her hand out to me once more and I flinched away.

"What happened, you're bleeding?!" her voice shrill.

I contorted my face giving her a confused look, what was she talking about?. Slowly I raised my hand toward my forehead where she had tried to touch. I could feel a warm sticky liquid against my fingertips I knew from where it was it wasn't tears. I turned around to look in the reflective metal that framed the elevator. Sure enough there was a growing streak of blood running down the side of my face where I had cut my head open. Reaching my finger's up, I slightly touched it quietly hissing in pain from my stupid action. I felt an arm wrap around mine dragging me into the elevator.

"Come on you're going to the infirmary" Rizzle said firmly.

"I'm fine. I don't want to go back down there" I complained

"You are not fine that's not some little scratch you're going to need stitches" She demanded,

I was too emotionally and physically drained to argue with her anymore, she was going to win no matter what. If I didn't agree and put a fight she'd call the peacekeepers and I'd be dragged there. So I went easily; I didn't need to embarrass myself anymore then I had. When the elevator reached the bottom floor Rizzel held onto my arm firmly and practically dragged me out of the elevator causing me to stumble behind her. I had to admit the woman was a lot stronger and then she looked.

As I attempted to gain my composure and catch up with her I caught Johanna and Finnick talking in the corner of my eye outside the dining room doors. I was grateful that they were too involved in their conversation to notice Rizzle and I. Dealing with either of them would probably just push me right off the cliff I was wavering on. I kept my eyes on them a couple moments longer, somehow I managed to drop blood on the floor and step on it in a matter of seconds. It caused me to stumble slightly almost falling backwards, I really was going to need to work on being more graceful.

"Let's go, Pascale, before you bleed on the floor more young lady" Rizzles stern high pitched voice echoed through the room

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Finnick's head shoot up in our direction instantly, Johanna's following closely behind. I swear I could have slapped Rizzel right then and there for that. It was the last thing I needed right now. I didn't need them seeing my stupidity, to see me looking weak or upset. I didn't know what Finnick would feel but I knew Johanna would be disappointed and I would hear it. They shared a glance they looked like they were ready to start walking closer. Once again my flight instinct kicked in and I became the one dragging Rizzle behind me as I bolted to the infirmary

The hurrying movements caused me to feel light headed. The room started spinning and nausea rolled around in my stomach. Letting go of Rizzle arm I stumbled into the swinging doors, ignoring the Avox's that tried to help me. I went straight for the first bed I saw and collapsed onto my stomach. I laid there for a couple minutes, the nausea that had started to set it starting to dissipate.

"Pascale!" Rizzle voice was riddled with concered. I raised my hand giving her a thumbs up

"I'm good, a little light head but I'm good" I grumbled rolling over onto my back.

"We'll that serves you right, being so careless. Miss Talladesco had a slight incident, she had quite the gash on her forehead. Take care of it, she needs to be able to not only train tomorrow but we have interviews. When you're done send her to her room" Rizzel, scolded me before directing the avox

I watched the older red headed girl nod at Rizzle before she let the room. I pulled myself up into sitting position now that the room had finally stopped spinning around. The Avox walked hurried around getting the equipment she needed before coming over to me. I knew they couldn't speak so I wasn't shocked when she picked up the needle and made a sewing motion. I was getting stitched whether I liked it or not. I just closed my eyes tightly and nodded at her. I felt the cold sharp point of the needle and I took in a deep breath. I could feel the needle piercing into my skin and I flinched slightly from the pain. I closed my eyes tighter trying my best not to move, to suck it up. I deserved this pain, I deserved worse than this.

It felt like it lasted forever but I knew it couldn't been more than a couple minutes before she was done. I could still feel each individual's hole as she put her hand on my arm signaling she was done. My head was pounding. It hurt but wasn't exactly painful, more like an annoying presences that I couldn't get rid of. Opening my eyes, the Avox gave me a small smile and a nodded as she helped me up.

"Thank you…" I told her softly.

She just nodded once more as I made my way towards the door. I stopped in front of it, pulling it open slowly. I peered my head checking both ways down the hall. It was empty and I let out breath I didn't realize I was holding in. Straightening myself out I stepped out of the room moving quickly down the hall. I stopped at the end. Carefully peeking around the corner to make sure Johanna and Finnick were gone, I was relieved to see that they were nowhere in sight.

Quickly I scurried my way to the elevator. The only thing I could do was pray none of them would be waiting for me. I was relieved when the doors opened and the elevator was empty I stepped inside pressing the button as I did and leaned against the back wall. Looking forward at the door I noticed something on the side wall. I turned my head to face it. There was a crack with blood smear on the once smooth glass surface. I bit my lip, a guilty look reflecting back at me. I looked away trying to play innocent.

"Ooopsie…" I mumbled to myself looking down

As the elevator came to a stop on my floor I stepped closers to the doors. My heart stopping for a second when they opened to reveal Arken standing right in front of me. He raised a questing eyebrow at me as I did the same to him, each doing a side step we switched positions.

"Where are you going?" I asked more suspicious than curious

"Cashmere and Gloss invited me to their room for drinks" He answered simply before the doors closed

I shrugged my shoulder walking to the door and heading into the room, I wasn't going to complain about him being gone I kind of wanted be alone. I walked inside the apartment not bothering to lock the door before heading to my bedroom. The first thing I did before getting changed was taking the remote off the nightstand and putting it onto the beach scenery with noise. I needed something to relax get my mind off everything.

Once the picture was set I changed out on my now slightly blood drop stained clothing and into my pjs. I dimmed the light's right now just enough to see before I crawled into my bed. Laying on my side, I faced the window with blankets pulled around me as I clutched a pillow to my chest. Laying there, I watched the waves crash against the ocean, letting it drowned out everything else.


	4. Chapter 4

I wasn't sure I had long I had been lying there; a few minute or a few hours. I didn't care. I had gotten lost in the sound and view of the video in front of me. I didn't want to think about anything else because I was done with all of it. I just wanted to let my body and mind rest and forget everything. The sound of my bedroom door creaking open pulled my attention from the screen. I didn't know if it was Arken, Rizzle, an Avox or ever Tacitus; I didn't care either. I didn't want to deal or see any of them. I buried my head into the pillow more and pulled my covers over my head. It was the only means of escape I had in this room.

"Go away" I said flatly hoping they'd leave

I kept the covers over my head, the light seeping in from around a figure making it known whoever was in the doorway wasn't leaving. I clutched onto the pillow tighter, waiting for them to finally leave. After a few more minutes, the lights started to dissipate. Hearing the door click, I let out a soft almost silent sigh; they had finally left. That's all I wanted and someone had obliged to my wishes. It was seldom that it happened but Lady Luck seemed to be on my side. At Least, I thought they had till I felt the weight shift on my bed causing me to tense up immediately. I had no idea who was there and how they managed to cross the room so silently.

I froze not daring to move from my spot. I felt the body on the bed move laying down next to me. My heart started thumping in my chest like the sound of drums. Who was there? I felt a hand brush over the top of my head over the blanket. I closed my eyes tightly hoping they'd just leave.

"Cale?" a familiar voice said, rushing over me, my eyes flickered open.

Staying under the covers I slowly I turned around. As I turned the covers were pulled from over my face. I didn't move at first I just laid there looking straight ahead. I kept my eyes on his bare chest a couple moments longer before I finally pulled my eyes up. They were met by Finnick's, gazing down at me laced with concern. A lump formed in my throat, my chest tightened as his hand slid slightly under my head. He gently brushed his thumb next to my stitches. I let out a shaky a breath that I barely noticed I had been holding. My eyes started to sting as tears formed. It was getting harder to breathe as I looked at Finnick who I thought hated me by now and wanted nothing to do with me. All the feelings started breaking through the wall I had been trying to build up.

"Hey, hey it's alright. Johanna told me everything; it's okay, Pascale. I know what Arken said and it's all lies, you're my friend and I care about you," Finnick assured me

I nodded gently, my lip trembling and my breath shaky as I tried to calm down. Everything was coming over me all at once; it was overwhelming but I knew things were going to start getting better.

"I...I know…" my voice trembled as I spoke "I... I just I thought... I thought I lost you…I never thought it would be so terrifying… but you're the first real friend I've had in a long time..." my voice got quieter as I spoke, tears escaping down my cheeks, staining them as they fell.

"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere. Come here," Finnick's voice was soft but strong

He slid his hands around me pulling me to him. I couldn't stop myself from burying my head into his chest. Letting the tears slip as he cooed me, and in this moment it brought everything back to me. The first games I had broken down more than once and Penn had consoled me just as Finnick was now. In those moments one thing became clear, just like my brother; Finnick was one of the only ways I was going to survive the games.

"Finnick " I mumbled, my voice trailing as I pulled back to look up at him

Finnick looked down at me, tucking a stray hair behind my ear with a partial smile playing on his lips.

"What is it, Pascale?" he spoke softly

"Will you stay with me for a bit… please," I whimpered out

I hadn't meant for it to sound so pathetic or weak, but at that moment I was more vulnerable than ever. The look in Finnick's eyes proved he knew it. He was kind enough and just smiled down softly and gave me a nod. Finnick lightly pressed the back of my head letting me rest it on his chest as he drew imaginary shapes on my back with his fingertips. I let out a small sigh, relaxing my body. With finnick I felt safe something I hadn't felt in years.

I found myself pacing up and down the length of the small room, my heart pounding and palms sweating. This was it, it was happening all over again; any minute I'd be climbing on to the lift and then the games would begin. To say I was freaking out was an extreme understatement, at breakfast I had such a bad panic attack Katniss had slapped me. Which I think surprised her as much as it did myself. Peeta had told me to have hope, that I'd get through this and I believed him.

Johanna had threatened her way to being able to talk to me before we had got sent to our separate sections. I was just outside the room when she pulled me aside. When I looked at her she looked fierce, vicious and she was ready for the games; you could see it in her eyes. I on the other hand was still a mess no matter how much hope I tried to have. "Listen to me Pascale, If something happens for some reason you can't find, Finnick, Peeta, Katniss or I, if we get separated don't you dare play hero, do you understand me? Don't be tough. Do what you did in the first games: be stealthy, be quiet, and stay hidden until we find each other." I remember her words so firmly. Her tone was strict but behind it I could hear the worry. As tough as Johanna was she really did care for my wellbeing. I just wondered what would happen at the end of the games when it was just Finnick, Petta, Katniss and I. President Snow wouldn't allow what happened in the last games; only one victor would survive." Also, Finnick wanted me to give you this" she said, taking me out of my thoughts as she handed me an envelope.

I paced another lap around the room with Peeta and Johanna's words on a loop in my brain. My eyes flashed up to the clock. 30 minutes, 30 minutes until it was all real again. I fiddled with the corner of the letter in my hand I had yet to open; I was somewhat terrified it had something in it, something that wasn't paper. After another lap around the room and I finally went over to the table and chair. Sitting down, I tapped my feet nervously on the floor, placing the envelope down in front of me. I took in a long deep breath in holding what little air I had in. I closed my eyes and looked up for a moment, attempting to calm my nerves.

I let the breath out slowly, shaking my upper body and arms out as I looked back down. I picked the envelope back up, carefully pulling back the fold. I tilted the envelope on its side. A braided and knotted blue and green thin rope slipped out. I picked it up with my fingers carefully. It was much like the one my brother had made but more intricate. I lifted it up looking at it more closely examining the hand woven design. It reminded me of two things: Finnick's eyes and the ocean; the woven threads mimicking the look of waves.

A smile pulled on my lips as I ran my fingers over the design as I noticed a netting intertwined with the threads. I pushed the chair back away from the table. It scraped along the floor. I lifted my leg, propped it up on the edge of the desk. Leaning forward I pulled on my pant leg. I wrapped the bracelet around my ankle, taking the ends in my hands. I used one of the knots Mags had taught me to tightly secure the bracelet around my ankle.

I ran my fingers over the bracelet once more before putting my leg back down. Pulling the chair back up to the desk, I picked up the piece of paper that had fallen out along with the anklet. I carefully unfolded the paper my eye scanning over it as I read it.

" _Pascale, I'm sorry I couldn't be there to say this in person, but I had other obligations. It'll be alright, promise. I know that you are probably panicking and worried about what is going to happen._

 _You have no reason to be, listen to me. You are a strong and intelligent girl, you can do this. If you survived the last games you can definitely survive this round. It's only a matter of whether you want to or not. And I promise you, that you will make it out alive, you will survive this I'll make sure of it even if it costs me my life._

 _I hope you like the bracelet I made you. In case for some reason I can't find you right away I want you to remember to have hope and keep your head up. It's my good luck charm to you, Pascale. You're strong and I will find you, always._

 _And most importantly._

 _STAY ALIVE_

 _-Finnick Odair. "_

I looked up away from the paper blinking away the tears that seemed to form. I wiped away the stray one that slid down my cheek. I heard the door handle start to jiggle. My head shot up my hands moving quickly to fold the paper. I tucked it into my jacket pocket before looking up. Tacito strode in and I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. He didn't want to be here as I much as I didn't want him to be. He looked me up and down with disgust like I wasn't worth the dirt under his boot.

"Try not to die in the first 5 seconds" He said bitterly

"Oh thank you master for your wise and wonderful advice" My voice dripped with sarcasm as I stood up bowing

Tacito simply scoffed at me then turned around leaving the room. It was the closest thing I was getting to a good luck from Tacito. He most likely didn't want me to die quickly lest it put shame to our district. I shook my head looking at the clock; it was almost time. I walked over to the lift that was waiting. I took a deep breath before standing on it. The glass doors enclosed around me as I waited. I took deep breaths waiting for the inevitable to happen to happen. The lift started to move, taking me off guard as I took a step back as it started to raise. It took me a moment to regain myself and step back into the center.

The sound of air releasing of the automatic doors caught my attention. I looked up just as the doors started to open. At the end of the long tunnel above me was a perfect clear blue sky. It was something I had been missing but the closer I got to it the more fear took over me. This was it; let the 75th hunger games begin.

As I came to the surface the platform under me coming to the halt I swayed slightly looking around me. I was surrounded by water, an island in the middle rock line's in between the platforms the other victors awaited on.

On one side of me was one of the morphlings; they weren't a real threat. On the other side was my worst nightmare, Cashmere as she shot me a wicked grin. If she had it her way she'd kill me right off the back. My eyes searched quickly for any sign of one my friends, my allies. I couldn't see any of them, I could see Arken, Gloss and Wirees, I couldn't find Johanna, Finnick, Mags, Katniss or Peeta and it was terrifying. The games hadn't even fully started and I was surrounded by enemies rather than allies.

A loud bang pulled me from my thoughts and suddenly everyone around me was diving into the water. I stood there, my heart pounding like the cannon countdown. I wasn't a good swimmer but I had no choice I had to get a weapon or I'd die. It was a blood bath, the dark blue waters turning red from blood as one victor killed another. The strong ones such as the careers dominated and the weak were dead. At least I made it past the first five seconds.

The loud booms continued to echo within my ears as I fled, knowing I had little to no chance of getting a weapon. My best option was to pluck one off the dead later on in the games. I had to find Peeta, Katniss, Johanna or Finnick first. I tried to swim away from any victors lest they drown me when they got close enough. The water seemed just as vicious as the victors. Something about it seemed to be grabbing at me, trying to drag me down the closer I got to shore.

Just a little farther I kept telling myself as I saw the shoreline, the beige sands screaming at me like a beacon of hope. When my feet finally touched the bottom I felt relief swell in my chest. I began to run towards the shore, stumbling in the waves like a newborn calf in the meadow. By the time I had reached the shore my limbs were already exhausted from trying to escape.

I wanted to look back to see if I could find someone anyone I could team up with but then the cannon blasted once more and I was too afraid to dare look back. I stumbled forward a couple times before I clambered into the dense wooded area of the jungle. I didn't stop, I just kept running. My body begged me to rest but I refused to stop or give up. It had been a long while that I had been stumbling around the jungle refusing to stop. It had been a while that I hadn't heard a cannon before my legs finally quit on me and I tumbled onto the ground.

I lifted my head up from the ground panting, a shimmer reflecting in front of me causing me to remember what Beetee had taught me in training. Straight ahead of me, barely 10 ft away was a force field which meant no one would be, or could come from that way. I rolled under the brushes laying there keeping myself hidden while I caught my breath. I knew I couldn't stay here long; it wasn't safe. Sooner or later the game maker would do something to force me out of hiding like they did Katniss.

Laying on my back, I looked straight up a heavily leafed tree towering over me. Staring at it, a plan formed in my head. Slowly I picked myself off the ground into a crouching position. I scanned over the bushes checking for any sign of someone. It was clear as I walked around the tree making sure my back was facing the force field. I attempted to reach for a branch, first flat footed then on my tip toes but either way I was too short to reach.

Standing flat foot once more I took a breath before jumping up, my fingers just gripping around the base of the branch. I swung my feet forward trying to get them to grip onto the trunk to help pull myself up. Each time they slipped right off not being able to get any traction. My hands slipped from the branch and I dropped to the ground. Mumbling to myself as I sat down on the jungle floor, I began to unlace my shoes. After I had finally untied them slid them and my socks off I tucked my socks in them and hung them by the laces around my neck. I was getting up this tree, I had to.

Once more I jumped up gripping on to the branch and swinging my legs and this time my feet gripped the bark of the trunk. Finally I was able to pull myself up on to the branch, a proud smile on my face as I held onto the base of the tree rising to my feet once more before pulling myself up onto another branch. Once I found myself high enough in the air and that I was sure I wouldn't be seen I stopped climbing. I found a nice place between three of the branches that sprouted apart to perch myself. Pulling my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them this is where I would stay for the night. I'd be safe here.

It wasn't long before I had passed out. I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion from running or if I was dehydrated or both. As I heard the chimes of the capitol it pulled me from my slumber, faces flashed in front of me. I bit my lip nervously watching the faces go by letting out a soft sigh when I saw none were my friends. As the faces faded from the sky the sound of a fire crackling below me caught my attention. My heart froze my breath getting caught in my throat.

Below me, around a fire was Cashmere, Gloss and Arken. I let the breath I was holding out. There would go my cover of night plan. I'd have to wait until morning now when they would pack up and move on before I'd leave the safety of my tree. I tried to relax, closing my eyes taking long breaths hoping sleep would come to me.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up to the glare of the hot sun shining down on me, the heat overheating my body with its rays. I slowly I opened my eyes, blinking them a few to adjust to the light. My body ached and protested from yesterday's exercise and my mouth was dry from the lack of water. It demanded that I liquids. I looked up in the sky, from the looks of it from what I remember in training about the sun and times it was still early morning. That helped. I leaned over one of the branches checking the jungle floor, where Cashmere, Gloss and Arken once lay was now empty. The fire had been snuffed out and there didn't seem to be any trace of them except something silver glistening in the sun light.

Carefully I climbed my way down the tree, jumping from the last branch landing effortlessly and making barely any noise. I didn't want to make much noise in case there were others nearby. I crouched in the coverage of the foliage, getting down on my hand and knees, my bare toes digging into the dirt. I leaned forward, my eyes darting around searching for any indication that the careers were around. I knew I had to play the game smart if I was going to survive. Johanna was right, being brave would get me killed; I wasn't here to play hero. I tried in the first games and that ended in my brother's demise in order to save me. Gripping a rock in my hand, I tossed it into the spot where the other victors had stayed the night. I wanted to make sure they hadn't set a trap, after a few more stick and stones I was positive. No one was there and if it were a trap they would have found me by now, killing me effortlessly.

Keeping myself low to the ground, I jolted to where I had seen the object embedded in the ground. I turned myself to keep my back to the force field. It was both smart and foolish, knowing the voltage could kill me if someone knocked my body into it. I didn't care right now. I could see the glistening silver sticking out of the dirt where Cashmere had been sleeping. Carefully I pulled the object out. It was one of her throwing knives; something that would be handy for me. I clutched it in my hand, straightening myself up slightly. I needed to think of a plan, to find the others.

I didn't have to win, I just had to survive until I could find them; help them. Sitting there in the dirt, I held the blade thinking how would I survive this? I thought how the other victors had won, had died. I thought about the faces that flashed on the screen last night, thinking how they won, how they would of went about trying to survive. The more I thought about the past games the more I realized a pattern. The people who had flashed on the screen were older, weak or relied on brute strength. While the ones that were surviving, were rather brute strength, stealthy or resourceful. It seemed that the young were favored in this game because we played by different rules and had far more superior abilities after seeing the old techniques used, honing them and bettering them to the best of our abilities.

I knew I couldn't compete physically but mentally I could. I didn't have to win just survive and that was my plan. I'd disguise myself, stay low ,stay hidden and move fast until the shore line and that's where I would stay hidden; vigilant only coming out at night. That was my plan, maybe not the best of them but it was my plan. I peeked my head up over the low bushes before I started to move, going quickly through bushes trying to stay hidden. I refused to be caught yet, not when I hadn't found any of my allies.

After an hour of wandering trying to find the shore line, I realized I was lost but I hadn't seen signs of anyone either. I was tired, dehydrated and sweating. In this heat I wasn't going to make it much longer, especially if I was trying to move fast. So with a knife in hand I kept myself vigilant as I made my way silently through the bushes. I had been wandering for a good twenty minutes before I had heard it, the sound of moving water. I followed it keeping my eyes open for other victors as well as anything else that could surprise me.

When I reached it I felt a weight brushed off my shoulders and an energy I didn't think I had surged through me. I stumbled my way down the rocky banks to the small river bashing my knees along the way I collapsed at the river side. Cupping my hands as I slurped the water up, the sound and feeling of the cool liquid washing down my sticky dry throat was one of the best I and ever felt. I splashed it over myself, repeatedly letting it wash over my sweat drenched body.

Out of the corner of my eyes I noticed a mud pit beside the river, a smile formed on my face. It was exactly what I needed. The mud would work not only to help camouflage me but it also keep me cool by reflecting the sun's rays and keep bugs off. I made my way along the water edge, stammering along the rocks until I made it to the mud pit. I took my shoes off from around my neck, placing them on a rock as well as the knife before rolling around in the mud.

Kneeling in the pit, I took large globs in my hand spreading them over my body over and under my shirt, over my arms and smearing it onto my face and caking it in my hair. When I knew I was fully covered in it I stood up taking my shoes off the rock cliff. Just then, an idea sprung to mind. I picked the blade up in one hand, the shoes and my lace in the other. I walked back over to the water. I went up to my ankles making sure the water was moving and clear.

I submerged my boots filling them with water. Once my boots were full I hung them carefully around my neck once more. It may not have tasted the greatest and it might have been extra weight, but at least I'd have water with me. Boots lightly hung around my neck I made my way back into the jungle, after getting a ways away from the water I started going in the direction it was flowing knowing it be heading to the lake in the middle of the arena.

I walked through the jungle keeping low. It had been an hour since I had found water. Judging by the position in the sun it was around mid-afternoon. I had only heard one cannon go off so far. It was that shocking though I knew there was groups of allies. I knew Cashmere, Gloss and Arken where together, the other Careers were probably allied. Johanna would be with Finnick and Mags. It wouldn't shock me if Katniss and Peeta allied with them or Beetee and Wiress. The only ones that would be foolish to be alone would be the ones whose allies were killed the first days. The morphlings who were probably hiding and myself who couldn't seem to find anyone.

I continued through the jungle, twirling the knife lightly in my hand as I walked. I didn't care how badly my legs where aching, or the fact they felt like they were going to snap I had to continue on. I took a sip out of one of the boots the water was in and it didn't taste the best but it did the trick. Behind me the sound of the branch snapping caught my attention

.Slowly I turned my head before whipping around my eyes scanning behind me carefully I couldn't see anything at first. I stayed still eyes forward carefully searching, a bird came rocketing out of the bushes a few feet behind me I swear my heart practically ripped out of my chest right then and there. I let out a breath of relief shaking my head to myself

"Stupid freaking bird" I mumbled to myself before turning around

The grip on my knife loosened as I continued walking through the jungle, my heart steadily starting to regain a normal beat. Another crack came from behind and I continued walking not wanting to feel like an idiot again then I heard it the low gruff scream. I turned quickly on my heels, my eyes grew wide in fear, hand clutching the knife. The male morphling came barreling down the partial trail I had made, spear in hand. I couldn't move I couldn't scream my mind went blank all my training washed away in a second.

All I could do was stand there like a moron clutching the knife in my hand a foot in front of my face, the sharp end pointed at the man. My feet cemented to the forest floor my mind screaming running, heart pounding. Then as he got closer I shut my eyes tightly, body tensing, waiting for the blow. It was like all the air was yanked from my body as I felt myself being tackled in the air for a few second before landing with a thud on the hard ground.

I couldn't breathe or move, I could feel a growing weight on my body, the morphling not moving as he pinned me under him. My body shook in fear, the only pain I could feel was from the knock on the ground. A warm thick substance started to ooze its way down my fingers, seeping into all the creases and cracks. It trailed down my wrist some area's faster than others, then I felt it a drip of warmth on the side of my cheek slide down the side of it.

Slowly I opened my eyes they grew large in shock and fear, my stomach starting to turn at the sight. My small blade lodged right through the morphlings throat. I killed someone. The blood pooled down the blade, seeping out of his mouth. His eyes wide and glazed over, pupils fully dilated and filled with fear. He didn't move or speak his eyes just started down at me. The loud boom of the cannon echoed through my ears and everything set in; I had just killed a man.

Panic washed over me, taking control of my actions. I yanked the blade from his throat, blood spurting gushing over me in a warm sticky wave. A scream of terror escaped my lips and even though it was my own I it felt like I had no control over it. It took me a few moments before I could pull myself back from the shock shoving the dead corpse off of me. I scrambled to get onto my knees. I could feel the warm blood drenching through my shirt. Drying onto my skin in the hot sun, I raised my hands into view blade still gripped in my hand complete tinted red from the blood that covered my hand still oozing off them dripping onto the forest floor.

Dropping the blade, I started trying to wipe the blood off my hands and arms it only made it worse, smearing it into my skin. The metallic smell filled my nostrils, churning my empty stomach. I reached around my neck for my boots they weren't there. I turned quickly sure enough they were behind me on the ground tipped over. I reached for them pick them up mouth wide as I tried to drip water onto me, they were empty both of them.

I took in a long deep breath trying to calm myself, now more than ever I had to find someone, first I had to get out of here. I knew someone would have heard me scream and they'd be coming for me or whoever I killed or had killed me. I picked the blade up carefully, getting to my feet. I could feel my clothing sticking to me no longer because of sweat but from the blood. I tried to ignore the fact I was drenched in it. I picked my boots up hanging them around my neck once more.

I blinked slowly, my eyes sticking shut momentarily from the blood. I held my head up high even though my entire body was shaking from fear and shock. I stepped over the dead body refusing to look at it as I picked up the spear. With each step I took the weaker I felt and the more I wanted to break down. I wasn't cut out for killing and what just happened made it clear to me.

The further I walked the number I became to everything, my body taking control of itself shutting down. I was going into shock. I don't know if it was the fear, the heat stroke or just plain shock but the world around me seemed to fade away. I could only see straight in front of me, there was no pain, no heat, the sound of the forest had melted away into buzzing murmurs.

I stumbled through the dense jungle tripping over a root and small boulder, using the trees to keep me from falling. As the bushes started to clear away, I could make out a somewhat familiar shape. Hunched over, darken skin glistening with sweat, he looked up with thick rimmed glasses mouth moving. Then I saw it the water crash against the shore, everything else went away. Blackness invaded my vision, tunneling to see only the water. I didn't want to pass out, I refused. I had to make it through the games. I was Pascale, a victor of the hunger games. I had to remain calm or I'd faint. Too much had affected my body and it was trying to shut me down to keep my body in homeostasis.

I stumbled my way through the bushes, tripping over a branch stumbling onto the sand in front of where Beetee hand been sitting. I scrambled to my feet, dropping the spear in the sand still clutching the blade. I could hear voices but they were murmured my mind only on one thing the water. I was tilted forward, kicking dirt out from under my feet as I ran towards the water. As I reached it I tripped again crawling on my hands and knees in the water before sitting up on my knees, the water reaching my mid chest. It would cool me down and hydrate me.

I was dead in the water, the shock overtaking my body as it shut itself down for protection. Voices were screaming at me but they sounded so distant like echoes in the wind. My mind didn't see any importance to the voices, becoming so quiet and unimportant. I stared out into the water the island the wind swept waves causing my body to sway with the motions.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, I still couldn't make myself move when all I could see was the blood gushing over me, tainting me. My body was shaking as it rocked with the waves, Finnick's face came into view but it didn't phase me. It was stricken with worry and fear, his mouth moving constantly. I knew he was talking to me, but I couldn't hear him his voice I couldn't see him starting to panic. I wanted to speak to him to tell him everything, that we would be okay and to hold onto him to feel again. I couldn't make my body move. I felt like lead and as I stared, my lips couldn't form words; I know knew how Mags felt.

Suddenly a weight was pressed on to my shoulders, yanking me back. My eyes were still open as the water engulfed me. The salt water stung and blurred my vision as it started to tint red from the blood washing from my skin. Holding me down was Johanna, her eyes filled with the same concerned look as Finnick but her face was cold and calm. She was forced back by Finnick before he pulled me back up out of the water and onto his lap.

My head breaching the water, I gasped loudly for air as forceful coughs followed. I was taking deep panicked breaths, blinking my eyes rapidly. Finnick's hands were running down my face, swiping away the blood as he cleaned it off. I was starting to gain control of by body once more. I could see Katniss, and Peeta standing at the water's edge, concern on their faces. Watching us closely, behind them Beetee was looking over his glasses.

I turned my head to look up at Finnick, he gave me a soft smile as he lent me down slightly in one arm using the other to wash the blood from my hair. I could feel my body start to relax until felt a hand touch mine. It caused me to tense right up, I turned my head to see Johanna she still held my hand that had the blade.

"It's okay Pascale, you're safe now. Let go of the blade" Johanna spoke calmly and for the first time I could actually hear her speaking

"I killed him..," my voice was horse sounding unlike my own as I spoke

"Shh, shh It's okay" Finnick cooed.

"I'm a killer," I whimpered.

I couldn't let go of the blade; it was like a lifeline to me. It was the only thing that could keep me alive in these games. Who was I to survive without a weapon? At least with that I could protect myself from the careers who had javelins, swords, arrows and other mechanisms to kill me. I think Johanna noticed that finally, giving up. Finnick carefully sat me up in the water. He was focused on getting the caked dried blood and mud off my skin. I knew Finnick and Johanna were talking to each other, my mind had been focusing on the morphling again. I killed him. He was dead and I was nothing but a murderer.

My eyes on the other hand were locked with Peeta's who had sat down on the edge of the water watching us while Katniss helped Beetee, They seemed to have sort of plan but my mind was elsewhere, I was finally safe. I might be a murderer but with my allies I wouldn't have to kill anyone. Or that's what I thought at least, then I saw him, Arken slipping out of the bush, his sword in hand heading right for Peeta.

Something primal in me kicked in; I had to protect Peeta. There was no debating, no thinking about. Peeta would die without my help. Suddenly nothing else mattered other than his life. He had always had my back he had always been there for me. I needed to protect him.

Without a word, without warning, I jumped to my feet, knocking both Finnick and Johanna over. In a couple of steps in the water, knife in hand before flicking my wrist as hard as I could I watch the knife glide through the air. The blade when whipping past Peeta who sat there looking terrified. He must have thought I went mad, Katniss surely did. I couldn't move or look away, my face was straight as I watched the blade pierce through Arken's eyes. He let out a painful scream before falling onto his knees then his face. I didn't kill him.

When he had screamed everyone had finally noticed him there eyes locked on him in shock. Katniss was the first one to run over to the body, machete in hand ready to attack. Johanna was the first one to stand next to me standing partially in the view of the body so I wouldn't see. It didn't matter because it felt just like the morphling again except this one survived.

"Pascale", she called my name eyes locked on the body

"Pascale!" Johanna screamed forcing me to look at her.

"He was going to kill Peeta" I said flatly pushing passed her. "He had to die; it's the way of the games. Eat or be eaten, kill or be killed. I'll die before I see you guys die in front of me."

As I walked up the beach, Peeta was still in a slight shock and he just nodded at me. I walked over to Katniss who had pulled my knife from Arken's body. The blood was pooling out of his eye as he laid there. I stopped beside Katniss, she didn't say a word to me, she just handed me my knife. I nodded at her, picking up Arken's sword and walking over to a log that was washed up on shore.

I sat there looking down at the blade, twirling it in my fingers, I sat there for a while before looking back up. The group had now hovered in a huddle, they were talking about me, I knew that. I also knew something else, that no matter what I had to protect them. I had nothing left to lose other than them and it was something I couldn't do. I'd protect them at any cost including my life.


End file.
